Gems for humans changing the world
Part 1 | Some of my favorite things: books+podcasts
Changing the world is confronting. And you do it while raising children, navigating romantic relationships, and caring for ailing parents. While showing up for yourself and those you love in an increasingly lonely world. While going through hormonal changes when AI doesn’t have to.
Insatiably curious — and embracing the post-children luxury of doing chores uninterrupted — I listen widely. You may have even received a share from me. This week, it occurred to me that (a) we’re rarely receptive to insight not (yet) relevant, and (b) my random texts about eye-opening insight exclude most of you! So, I’d like to share with you my gems about our shared humanity: the best in science, ingenuity, and kindness about our children, social bonds, meno- and manopause, and our darkness.
Would you help me grow this for changemakers worldwide by adding your recommendation as a comment? Please also share with other humans you may know.
1. Puberty is not what it used to be.
Did you know that children are starting puberty years earlier than we did?
This week in eye-opening knowledge started with a Chasing Life (SNN) podcast on puberty, where Dr. Sanjay Gupta, CNN’s Chief Medical Correspondent speaks with Dr. Cara Natterson, a pediatrician and the acclaimed author of books on growing up that our girls discovered at the library. This is relevant for anybody with children as young as seven.
2. Parenting is a labor of love.
Many people raising children today are not their bio-parents. A majority, they are nonetheless made to feel lesser-than, and that can’t stand because children want to be loved by as many people as possible.
My wife gave a global stage to the voice of alternative parents 25 years ago; imagine that! I hope to leverage my lived experience as a stepparent to honor all the grand-, foster, and adoptive parents, aunts, uncles, and otherwise loving adults we owe our happiness to.
Beyond biology: unmasking the harmful stigma against stepparents
What Kamala Harris represents is saturated with significance. While much of it is being thoroughly dissected, there is one aspect of her identity that hasn’t garnered the attention I believe it deserves.
What’s the difference between bacon and eggs?
On November 2, 2024 I published Beyond biology: unmasking the harmful stigma against stepparents. In response to the heat Kamala Harris took for not being a bio-parent to her kids, I busted some of the stigma’s logical fallacies. The ensuing exchanges with many of you — godparents, unties and uncles, grandparents, foster parents — inspired me to share…
3. Ambition demands a wife.
Show me a “self-made man,” and I’ll show you a man with a self-sacrificing wife, perhaps assisted by a legion (that may include slaves).
Life is cumbersome. Add all the possessions, accounts, and subscriptions of modernity. As long as socks need to be laundered, one’s ambition requires another’s support. So, if we learn of somebody’s “greatness,” it is likely because others have buffered them from mundane concerns.
Historically, women (wives, daughters, nieces, maids) fulfilled those roles. So, how do we achieve greatness in an equitable world?
Annabel Crabb, an Australian journalist, put this dynamic into context. Hers is an older book I’ve often woven into Executive Training curricula because it stands the test of time. Check out her ongoing work, too!
4. Menopause. Enough said.
I’ve long been interested in how changes in hormones hit us during what is supposed to be the “peak” of our lives. Did you know that Halle Berry is committed to helping women thrive through it? Blessed by a worldwide network of male changemakers, I’m informed that there is also a manopause that deserves our attention. Please share resources you’d recommend!
5. It is bloody hard to be a good man
Zero-sum game hurts everybody, every time. In our — just and necessary — efforts to lift all marginalized populations, all boys and good men are navigating unchartered paths. For an overview, I recommend Ezra Klein’s conversation with Richard Reeves.
6. Light and darkness are codependent.
Russian has no word for “fun” but enough to fill Dostoyevski’s Crime and Punishment. I have been publishing a mini-series on darkness experienced by changemakers (aka people committed to making a meaningful difference in the world). I have found the work of Dr. Mariana Alessandri particularly insightful and recommend her conversation with Sean Illing on Vox’ The Gray Area podcast.
PLAYLIST: on darkness/depression
Depression is as familiar to me as rain. Heartbreak coloring it is, however, new and unsettling. In my commitment to support all changemakers in their vital work and to compel focused research into changemaking, I have chosen to share my experience with these heavier feelings to help make space for a greater range of human experience.
7. We are nature.
Aren’t we all caught between nature and nurture? Trees have discredited the survival of the fittest, dolphins enjoy orgasms, and whales exhibit what has defined human superiority: language. With the help of the Global Alliance for the Rights of Nature, we’ve fighting for the rights of all living beings because callousness undercuts our humanity.
You might know Free Willy? I didn’t grow up in “the West,” so I didn’t, but this story of the whale that inspired (and starred in) the movie is so worth a listen.
What am I missing? What book, podcast, or influencer could help changemakers worldwide in their vital work of remaking the world for the better?
Great idea to start this list if resources. I’ve recently started listening to the Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting podcast about parenting and found it interesting and useful.